Snowbell, our 5th pet rat, died on Sunday. Now only pet rat Lavender remains. Angela, who has a heart for animals like St. Francis, asked us to buy another baby rat to give Lavender a friend and keep her calm and ease her loneliness. I love Angela's heart and I want to support her compassion. But I don't want another pet rat at this time. I didn't know specifically why I didn't want one. And I didn't know how to explain it. So I wrote her this letter this morning.

Angela note Monday, June 10, 2013 - 6:40 AM

Dear Angela,

I love you.

I heard you think it is important for us to get Lavender a friend rat to keep her from being lonely, bored, freaking out, and healthy. Another pet rat would give her a friend. I love that you are caring of our Lavender, that you want to make sure she is okay and taken care of well. To me that is a sign of your good heart, your thoughtfulness, and your compassion for others who are suffering. Those are all wonderful qualities that I want to support and help grow in you.

The problem, which I think you understand, is if we buy another rat it becomes another rat to take care of. While you are able to deal with the responsibility of taking care of the rat, it has to be a family decision. At this time, I am not willing to take on the care of another rat. I’m not very good at taking care of their needs: feeding them, cleaning their cage several times a week, giving them new bedding, washing their dirty bedding, replacing their water, playing with them. Because I’m not good at take care of them, it falls on Mommy to take care of them.

Mommy is going back to work full time next year. This change will bring a lot of stress for her: Working without a partner means that every responsibility has to be take care of by herself, she can’t rely on Auntie Gloria to help her manage it. She will have to spend more time in the classroom, more time after school, and more time on the weekends. This means less time for the rat, and her friends, and her family. I know Mommy is feeling conflicted about shifting her time and energy to her work from our family. She wishes she could have remained half time this coming year so her time and energy could still be like it is this year.

But that wasn’t God’s plan. God’s plan was for Mommy to work full time this year. We don’t know why but we accept God’s plan and that God knows what he is doing.

I don’t want to get another rat, not because I don’t want Lavender to have a friend and be taken care of. I don’t want to get another rat because another rat will bring more stress to Mommy in a stressful year. I want to take care of Mommy first before Lavender. I know it would be nice to take care of both. But life isn’t always so easy where we can do everything that we want to. We have to make difficult choices sometime. I’m sorry.

But I love you and your caring heart. I wish I could give you and Lavender another rat friend. Your heart is in the right place. But I hope you can come to understand why I am not willing to buy another rat friend.

Your Pen Pal, Daddy