What can you do to be happier? Aspen Ideas Festival people answered in this 3 minute video.

These are the two answers I LOVE:
1) Stop worrying about being happy
2) There are more important things than being happy

"A Better Way to Pursue Happiness" article from Greater Good Science Center writes “Research suggests that people who strive to feel happy all of the time may suffer disappointment, and people who pursue happiness as if it were the only thing that matters may, ironically, chase happiness away.”

If happiness isn't the ultimate goal, what is?

I can't answer that. But I told my students this, "Don’t chase happiness. Instead, build in opportunities every day to experience positive emotions and positive connections with others."

My example: Over the years, I found myself waking up, grabbing my iPhone, and checking facebook, CNN, sports illustrated, or Daring Fireball. I would lie in bed for 20 minutes to an hour just surfing the internet. Then I would curse myself for wasting time. Even though I knew this habit was making me unhappy, I continued wake up, grab my phone, and surf the web. My fear of missing out on something important drove me to do this every morning, day after day, month after month, year after year.

After taking Shawn Blanc's The Focused Course, I decided to make a change: I would not pick up my phone in the first hour of waking up. I would replace morning surfing the web with writing. Sometimes, I write a letter to my partner or one of my daughters. I write down three goals I want to achieve in the day. I write down three things I'm grateful happened to me and why they happened. I write about my three of longest social interactions I had the day before. And what was the quality of those interactions.

This changed my mornings. Before, I would be angry or disgusted at myself for wasting time. Now, thanks to writing, I feel more aware of what I am thinking and feeling. Writing helps me set goals to acheive each day. It makes me more grateful and aware of the good things and people in my life. Writing helps me see everyday interactions with others as opportunities to connect. And I’ve started to prioritize making positive connection more.

What can you do to build in opportunities to experience positive emotions in your everyday life? Exercise, have lunch with a friend, touch the ocean, call your mom, practice your art, sing, read, play, cook, study . . . ?

I challenge you: Build in one (just one) more activity, once a week that might bring you positive emotions when you do it. While it is attractive to want to make a big splashy change, I recommend starting small. Too much change at once is a great recipe to burned out and give up. Just pick one small activity, once a week, for the next couple of months. Write it in your calendar and honor your commitment to yourself.

Maybe the goal is life is not to be happy. But we can build daily opportunities to connect in more meaningful ways with others or experience something that makes us happier. I want that for you.