Research suggests when we are kind to someone, our own happiness increases. The more we increase our happiness, the more compassionate, generous and kind we are. Which makes us happier. A positive feedback loop.

Of course, be smart. Don’t practice kindness with people who go out of their way to abuse and hurt you. But armed with the knowledge that kindness is not a zero-sum game, I can start to make choices. I can chose to kind regardless if the another acknowledges it, thanks me or returns it. The effects of my kindness are not limited to the receiver. As Dr. Rick Hanson says, “In a relationship, one of the best ways to get your own needs met is to take maximum reasonable responsibility for meeting the needs of the other person . . . it’s your best odds strategy for getting treated better by others. This approach is the opposite of being a doormat; it puts you in a stronger position.”

Knowing that being kind helps me be happier, why shouldn't I make the conscious choice to be kind? It’s doesn’t have to be huge acts of kindness. I could chose to wash someone else’s dishes. I could listen to a friend without smart phone distractions. I could write a note of encouragement. I could send a gratitude text message.

What ways can you show your kindness? I challenge you to do some small act of kindness today. Random acts of kindness are good but why not take control of your kindness? Choose to be kind.